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800 6th Avenue
New York, NY, 10001
United States

Life Coach, NYC, Executive Leadership Coach, Personal Development Coach, New York - Coaching Leaders, Entrepreneurs, and Creatives to be more Confident, Productive, and Fulfilled.

Notes from Yourself



You're A Liar

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, mindset coach, leadership coach, personal development

You’re a liar. I’m a liar. We all are. It’s “normal.” You hopefully already know you’re lying whenever you’re intentionally deceptive, but you might not realize that you may also be lying when you don’t ask for what you want or need, when you say “yes” and you really mean “no,” or when you aren’t being fundamentally true to yourself. And it isn’t about being more ethical, it’s about being more productive. When you’re functioning as your truest self then you're navigating the world more intentionally, more confidently, and more fluidly. But when you mask who you are, even when you don’t mean to, you’re creating unnecessary roadblocks to getting where you want to go.

Hiding behind untrue impressions of yourself is not only risky, but it also limits your ability to connect to others. For as dumb as people can seem sometimes (and some of them can seem pretty dumb), many of them also have a sixth sense when it comes to authenticity. Even if they can’t exactly pinpoint the lie that you’re telling, they may get this feeling of distrust that bubbles up in the form of annoyance, dislike, or discomfort. This feeling becomes an invisible wall that prevents you from connecting with them in a meaningful way, which means losing out on the possible benefits of that connection, may it be a new client, job, friendship, or partnership.

If you’re not working to be more straightforward about who you are, what you want, and what you need, then you’re lying, and you're demonstrating to others that you don't believe in yourself. (So why should they believe in you?) Whereas if you can be a life coach to yourself and be upfront about who you are, confidently embracing all of the beautiful quirks that make you you, then you’re demonstrating to the world that you love yourself enough to be yourself. People feel that. Of course it won’t be attractive to everyone, but that’s the beauty of not lying, you don’t waste time on relationships and situations that aren’t a good fit, which means that you have more energy to focus on the ones that are. See? Now that’s a productive mindset.

Now go out there and tell somebody the truth.

Have a beautiful week.


Inspired by the book “Lying” by Sam Harris

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