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New York, NY, 10001
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Life Coach, NYC, Executive Leadership Coach, Personal Development Coach, New York - Coaching Leaders, Entrepreneurs, and Creatives to be more Confident, Productive, and Fulfilled.

Notes from Yourself



Filtering by Category: Glass Half-Full

The Magic of Abundance

John Kalinowski

life coach, nyc, executive leadership coach, personal development coach, abundance

When did “wanting” become a dirty word? When did we lose the capacity to see value in anticipation? And why does “wanting” usually feel synonymous with “lacking?”

There is nothing wrong with wanting in the absence of having. Trust, I’m speaking to myself here too. The things we want do not have to become a source of pain simply because we can’t have them in the time frame that we want them.

One area of wanting that I hear about all the time is in the romance department. People can feel very lonely and stressed about not having a partner or mate. Of course, people can feel similarly about all sorts of things they feel they need to have in order to be happy and whole. This type of wanting is built on lack.

  • Wanting from lack means that you, on some level, believe that you are insufficient without that thing. It means that you feel yourself to be “not enough” if you don’t have that relationship, that house, that car, that job, that external validation of your worth.

  • Wanting from abundance means that you know, with or without that relationship, house, car, or job, you are still going to be ok - great actually. It means that you believe you are enough, and that “enoughness” is not measured by external validation trophies.

True happiness is a mindset and practice of reminding yourself that you are enough. Though there are plenty of external “things” that can make you feel amazing, that state of bliss is fragile because you have so little control over the temporary nature of the external world.

As you practice being enough, you are able to channel pure, loving, abundant energy into achieving what you want. Brick by brick you can build your vision from a grounded place of strength, happiness, and trust. The energy we invest is the energy we tend to see returned.

Lack begets lack and abundance begets abundance.

Have a beautiful month! #redpill


Also published on & Thrive Global

A Question that Can Change Your Life

John Kalinowski

life coach nyc personal development opportunity

What's the Opportunity?

I ask myself this question all the time. In moments of doubt it keeps me from going to a dark place, that fear place, the one where I'm thinking/feeling, "Oh my God, this sucks! What am I gonna do?? What if it doesn't work? What if I can't figure it out? What if it all falls apart??" 

And more often than not I also stumble onto an answer to the question, because, the funny thing is, there is almost always an answer to "What's the Opportunity?" 

It's usually easier to ask ourselves that question when everything's stable. But when things suddenly shift or don't go our way many of us make a mental/emotional beeline to resistance, stress, anger, anxiety, and depression. "Oh no, I didn't get the job I wanted." "Oh no, I didn't get the loan I wanted, or the man or woman I wanted - life is so unfair." 

That's just victim-thinking and for many of us it can spiral into a whole mess of "I'm not worthy" and "why don't good things happen to me." Well, they're probably not going to happen to you if you always revert to playing the victim every time life doesn't go your way.

What's the Opportunity? 

We squander opportunities all the time because we're so consumed by fear and victim-thinking. Of course there are really traumatic things that happen like death, divorce, and health issues. But even then, there are so many instances where the events were hard for everyone at first, then they paved the way for some really significant personal development and healing. But only when the people involved were open to the opportunities.

So, when the shit hits the fan and things don't turn out the way you want, acknowledge your disappointment, cry about it, grieve if necessary, but even in the worst of circumstances there is an opportunity for something good to come of it. You just have to be open to shift your mindset. Only then will you see that maybe dropping your phone was an opportunity to unplug, or getting fired from your job was the nudge you needed to make a career change and get your ass back to the gym.

You can be your own life coach by asking yourself this one question, "What's the opportunity?"

(But beware, you might turn into one of those "glass half-full" people.)

Have a beautiful week!


Also published on 

Life Is Hard Sometimes

John Kalinowski

life coach personal development coach

Every day I assure clients that if they keep putting in the work to shift their mindset, then their lives will get better. And frankly, that’s almost always the case. That’s what’s so beautiful about my job. But, I’m not a fortune-teller and life has a tendency to throw us the occasional curve ball. Whack! And suddenly you’re wondering what happened to all that work you put in? Are you being punished? Actually, this is where the real work is by figuring out what there is to be gained from a less-than-ideal situation.

With every one of those curve balls we can be our own life coach. We can make a choice to either be victimized or empowered. For me it’s often a combination of the two. I typically have a little moment where I let myself throw a fit and then I start looking for the opportunity. What’s the opportunity here? For example, I moved out of my office on July 31 because I was supposed to move into a brand new office on August 1. But there have been construction delays and I’ve had to come up with creative ways to meet with clients in the meantime. Yes, I’ve had a few moments of disappointment as the open-date continues to get pushed back, but I’ve also had to look at the opportunities.

First of all, I’ve been able to save a little money on office rent this past month. I’ve also been spending more time outside during the day because I’ve been meeting some clients in Madison Square Park. And now the new office management company has set me up temporarily at their Lower East Side location where I have a nice office and an opportunity to meet some new people. Granted this little life dilemma is small potatoes compared to what some people are dealing with, but finding the opportunity can be applied to every life experience. The fact is, life is hard sometimes, but we have a choice in how we’re going to perceive it. Are we going to let it tear us down or build us up?

Have a beautiful week!