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Life Coach, NYC, Executive Leadership Coach, Personal Development Coach, New York - Coaching Leaders, Entrepreneurs, and Creatives to be more Confident, Productive, and Fulfilled.

Notes from Yourself

 

 

Filtering by Tag: leadership

Let's Talk About Sex

John Kalinowski

Photo by Becca Tapert

Photo by Becca Tapert

The bedroom can be a mysterious place.
When it comes to sex, nobody's a mind-reader,
and silence isn't golden.

(The Set-Up)
What turns you on?
Have you told anyone lately?
Including yourself?

(The Check-In)
Are you still turned on?
Still getting everything you need?
Wanna try something new?

Great sex starts with a great conversation.
And a little foreplay never hurt either.

Love,
Yourself

Want More Answers?

John Kalinowski

life coach nyc, life coaching new york

Your mind is moving like a freight train.
You've been taught to believe that
more thoughts equal more answers.

The beauty is that the answers
are usually right in front of you.
But they are only visible in stillness.

Stop: Breathe...
Find the stillness behind the thoughts,
and watch the answers bubble up.

"I see," said the blind man.

Love,
Yourself

Also Published on Selfscription.com.

Somebody's Mad... Again

John Kalinowski

Photo by  Andre Hunter  on  Unsplash

How often do you run into the same problem?

Being in a job that expects too much.
Being in a relationship that gives too little.

Hiding doesn't solve it.
Neither does a temper tantrum.

It all goes back to the set-up.
What were the rules of engagement?
Maybe it's time for a do-over.

Love,
Yourself

Also Published on Selfscription.com.

Don't Go Nuts

John Kalinowski

Photo by: Daniel Schreurs / Unsplash.com

Photo by: Daniel Schreurs / Unsplash.com

As much as we would like life to fit into a tidy little box,

it can't, because life is a big messy affair.

It's like a life-long game of spill the pistachios, clean up the pistachios,

spill the pistachios, clean up the pistachios.

The beauty of life is that each time you clean up your mess,

you get a little clearer about who you are, what you want,

and how to make it happen.

Life's a journey. Pack some nuts.

Love,
Yourself

P.S. Remember when pistachios used to be red??

Also published on selfscription.com

Live with Gusto!

John Kalinowski

life coach nyc, life coaching new york

When the lights go down and it's last call...

What were the magic moments?

You climbed Mt. Everest?

You fell in love with a stranger?

You flew to the moon?

You are the JK Rowling of your life.

Make some magic happen.

Love,

Yourself

 

Originally published on Selfscription.com 

Big Announcement!

John Kalinowski

Well Hello!

I hope your year is going great so far. Mine has been awesome! I've been in the think tank with my business partner, Jami Bertini, for the past several months visualizing and designing the foundation for a new personal growth hub, Selfscription.com. We will have products ranging from notebooks to self-help books, children's books, greeting cards, and even crystals, for those who are exploring and opening themselves up to their own personal power. 

“Free your mind and take your life to the next level.” - Selfscription®

This is our official launch and you are the first to hear about it! Our journey begins with Selfscription® Mindset Notebooks. After 10 years of seeing clients struggling to manage the endless stream of unproductive thoughts and distractions, we designed these notebooks to give them, and you, the clarity and confidence to show up to each day and crush it.

Buy Yours Now!


This is just the first of many products to come. In the next several months you will also hear about the books we're writing and other products that we're working on. So stay tuned!

Lastly, keep an eye out for our little doses of inspiration called, Notes from Yourself, coming from team@selfscription.com.

Enjoy the journey!
John

The Show-Up Factor

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, leadership coach, mindset coach, you are enough

Remember that time you had an idea about something you sort of wanted,

then sort of went after it, only to really not get it?

The Show-Up Factor is when you connect your heart to your goal

and completely participate in an experience.

Where can you apply the Show-Up Factor this week?

Make it count!

Love,

Yourself

Also published on selfscription.com 

Waiting For Life to Start

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, life coaching, life coaching nyc, mindfulness, mindset

It feels like everything will be better when...

The problem is, if you can't be happy now, you won't be happy when.

Marianne Williamson says, “the top of one mountain is the bottom of the next.”

It's up to you to find joy and fulfillment in the climb...

 and to love your life just as it is.

Love,

Yourself

Also published on selfscription.com 

Rainbow in a Hailstorm

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, life coaching, leadership coach, mindset coach

When you're caught in a hailstorm,

don't get distracted by the hail.

You can choose to see things differently.

Slow down, take a breath, you can handle this.

Find your rainbow in the hailstorm.

Love,
Yourself

 

Also published on selfscription.com

Let It Be

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, leadership coach, mindset coach

Stop holding on so tight. Stop trying to force life to happen.

The only thing you can control is yourself.

There comes a point when it’s time to step back and allow

the chips to fall where they may. 

When you catch yourself micromanaging every little thing,

just remember, “Let it be.”

Love,
Yourself

Also published on selfscription.com

Do You Energize People or Deplete Them?

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, leadership coach, executive coach, personal development coach

Ahoy there! Happy September! As we round the corner into the last stretch of 2018, here is a simple tip for being your most energized and energizing self.

Interacting with others is an energy exchange and we have a huge amount of control over what type of energy we are bringing to the table.

Negative or unproductive energy can be depleting to yourself and others and is created by:

  • Thinking and talking about problems and drama

Positive or productive energy can be energizing to yourself and others and is created by:

  • Thinking and talking about opportunities and solutions

Of course, we have to think about and share our problems sometimes, but many of us go overboard, at which point it is unproductive and depleting to ourselves and others.

If you make a practice of steering your thoughts and conversation out of the problem and into the solution, you will find that you feel more energized about yourself and your life. As a result, you will bring more positive energy to your interactions, which will leave others feeling more energized as well.

Look at you! All positive n’ stuff.

Have a beautiful month! #redpill

John

Also published on Selfscription.com & Thrive Global

Be More Productive By Accepting Your Limitations

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, executive coach, leadership coach, personal development coach

Well hello! How is your year shaping up so far? I am trying my best over here, and generally feeling pretty good about things. I have a lot of projects underway and one of the projects I have been working on is my blog. Every time I start writing again I feel inspired and excited. Then, at some point, I get busy, distracted, feel like I have nothing more to say, lose momentum, and inevitably stop. Though I ultimately accept my choice, there are always some feelings of “I’m not enough or I’m not doing enough” that tug at me in the weeks and months afterward.

The thing is, I like writing! I like letting you know what I am thinking about and working on, while also hopefully adding some value to your life. Every year around this time I tend to get inspired to write. I map out a writing schedule, create the framework for a dozen pieces over the course of a few weeks, then schedule them for release over the next few months. I typically edit or totally rewrite several articles prior to release, but it’s the initial push that sets everything up.

What happens after I have sent out all of those blog posts? Well, the intention is to use the momentum to continue writing and posting, but unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be what happens. About the time that I need to start writing to keep up with the schedule I have established, I find that I have already embarked on what will be a longer-than-ideal break until I feel the writing itch again, and it all repeats.

This year, I am trying something different. I have already planned and written the framework for a bunch of articles, and, instead of publishing one each week or every other week, I will now be publishing one per month. What a novel idea!?! Instead of imposing a schedule on myself that has shown not to work (for me), I am instead committing to a consistency that feels more manageable. The plan being that by the time these run out I will have already hit my next creative writing phase and churned out a whole new batch of outlines.

We shall see how it turns out! Some people can pick something up and stick to it from day one. But far more people, like myself, pick it up, put it down, let it sit, dust it off, pick it up, put it down, and so on until it finally sticks. If you are also one of “those” people, then it’s important that you and I stay open to playing with different versions of the habit, as well as different ways to incorporate it into our lives. Once we find something we can consistently adhere to, even if initially less impressive than we might like, we can build on it.

This approach also allows us to release some of those nagging feelings of “not-enoughness,” which are perhaps the heaviest weights we carry with us on our paths forward.

Have a beautiful month! #redpill

John

 

Also published on Thrive Global, ANewsCafe.com, and Selfscription.com!

What Are you Spending Your Energy On?

John Kalinowski

life coach nyc personal development work smarter

Not just "what" are you spending energy on, but also "who" are you spending your energy on? And what's the return you're getting on that investment (ROI)?  

Though everything good in our lives requires a certain energetic investment, it's super easy to get into a habit of spending energy without really thinking about whether it's generating any kind of return. Most of us have habits and relationships that have been sucking up our energy for years, inhibiting our ability to move other things forward. Unfortunately, there isn't any energy spent that doesn't have to be replenished.

Just like gas in your car, once the tank is empty, you're going to have to refill it. So take stock. Unless you've already mindfully combed through your life and optimized every inch of it, then there are probably still some areas that you could clean up to generate more energy. Here are the first 5 places to look:

  • Clean Up Your Thoughts: Most of us are wasting a massive amount of time and energy on indulging in unproductive thinking.

  • Plan Ahead: Planning tasks, meals, gym-visits, etc. for your days, weeks, and months helps to solidify your intention, productivity, and success.

  • Action Steps: It's much more motivating and manageable to break down projects into steps, then schedule time for each one.

  • Schedule It: Booking time on your calendar to take care of a particular Action Step makes you much more likely to achieve it.

  • Minimize Distractions: Your brain doesn't multitask - you'll radically improve productivity if you turn off your emails, flip your phone over and focus on the task you've scheduled. (Hint: you can also schedule time to respond to texts and emails.)

Lastly, don't forget to schedule in some guilt-free downtime. Firing on all cylinders also requires scheduling time for rest, exercise, friends, family, and even stepping outside for a 10-minute walk every couple hours of your workday. We also need to let our hair down sometimes. 

The whole "burning-the-candle-at-both-ends" thing is so 2005. 

#redpill

John

How to Get Your Mind Out of the Gutter

John Kalinowski

life coach personal development mindset

Your thoughts dictate your reality.

I see it in myself, my friends, and my coaching clients. We are all influenced by what we think every day, in the same way that we're influenced by what we eat every day.

If my junk-food intake outweighs my intake of nutritious food then there will be consequences. And by the same token if I'm thinking a lot of unproductive, negative thoughts instead of affirming, encouraging ones, there will be natural consequences for that as well. 

Productive thoughts are those that open up opportunities for solutions and growth. Unproductive thoughts are those that shut down opportunities for solutions and growth. "I don't know what to do," is unproductive. "I can figure this out," is productive. "I'm a big fat pig," is unproductive. "I have the power to change," is productive.

3 Tools for a Productive Mindset:

  • The Gold Star - Acknowledge yourself for the things you do, even if it feels like you could do them longer, better, or more often.

  • Course-Correct - Have a handful of productive thoughts that you can pull out when you catch yourself engaging in unproductive-thinking.

  • Habits v. Goals - Take some of the emphasis off of the end-goals and focus more on the habits and routines required to get you there.

Your thoughts dictate your reality. More productive thoughts = a more productive reality. 

#redpill

John

Can People Really Change?

John Kalinowski

life coach personal development coach

Yes. And No. 

First of all, "change" takes MUCH longer than we think.

And people who "change" don't become totally different human beings. 

They start by acknowledging the behaviors and habits that aren't serving them... 

And they make necessary adjustments to better manage those behaviors.

But changing habits and behaviors isn't a one-shot deal.

It's a PRACTICE, a MINDSET, and it takes time.

The more you practice something, the more likely it'll become a new habit.

Do it once, and give yourself a gold star. Do it again and you get another gold star.

Even if it's weeks or months apart, that's ok - did I mention it takes time? 

Soon you have two, then three, then four, then five stars...

And voila! You have a new habit.

Keep going. :-)

#redpill

John

Breathe - It Makes You Smarter

John Kalinowski

Breathe... Just breathe. Hopefully you're already breathing somewhat, but you could probably benefit from doing it more. It's one of the most effective tools in your toolbox and you can use it anytime. It's free and easy and has all sorts of amazing benefits. Even though I know this, I still catch myself not breathing enough, especially when I'm rushed, stressed or upset. That's because the body naturally breathes less deeply as a fight-or-flight response to stressful situations. But too much of this fight-or-flight state is not good for your health or well-being. So we need to catch ourselves. Take a breath damnit! It's so easy. And so beneficial. And it can make you more intelligent! Emotionally Intelligent that is. 

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is something that you hear about more and more these days. One of the fundamentals of emotional intelligence is not being so reactive to the stimuli around you. (I know of a certain political figure who could use a healthy dose of EQ. I mean...) The most obvious way to be less reactive, and more emotionally intelligent, is to give yourself a pause by taking a deep breath. It can take the edge off of a stressful feeling and give you the moment you need to not do something stupid. In the age of emails most of us have sent one that we wish we could take back. Taking regular deep breaths can not only calm you down, it also helps you to recognize when you're emotional and need to take a step back.

By creating a habit of it, breathing also becomes an exercise in focus and attention, and gives you one more opportunity to question a potentially bad choice. Isn't that what life is all about? Trying to make good choices? Breathing is one easy little tool to help you make better choices. AND it makes you smarter! Boom.

#redpill

John

Also published on ANewsCafe.com 

Rock The Damn Boat

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, mindset coach, leadership coach, personal development

If you're walking on eggshells with people in your life, or allowing something to fester.

Rock the damn boat.

Spouses, parents, friends, and bosses... "Because it's not worth it to make him/her mad." 

Rock the damn boat.

I just did some boat-rocking with a good friend recently and yeah, it was awkward, but it was also really good. 

We chatted like grown-ups. No finger-pointing, no defensiveness. 

Also, bottling up your feelings is just not cute anymore.

So, rock the damn boat.

With a little practice you'll be running around tipping boats over left and right, and guess what.

You'll be glad you did. 

#redpill

xJohn

Also published on ANewsCafe.com 

The Domino Effect

John Kalinowski

"Different" is a fertilizer for growth.

"Different" makes way for "different."

"Same" makes way for "same." 

It's a Domino Effect. 

"Different" can be uncomfortable.

Find comfort in discomfort.  

Your life will open up.

life coach, life coach nyc, mindset coach, leadership coach, personal development

#redpill

xJohn

Also published on ANewsCafe.com