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800 6th Avenue
New York, NY, 10001
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Life Coach, NYC, Executive Leadership Coach, Personal Development Coach, New York - Coaching Leaders, Entrepreneurs, and Creatives to be more Confident, Productive, and Fulfilled.

Notes from Yourself

 

 

Filtering by Tag: leadership coach nyc

Big Announcement!

John Kalinowski

Well Hello!

I hope your year is going great so far. Mine has been awesome! I've been in the think tank with my business partner, Jami Bertini, for the past several months visualizing and designing the foundation for a new personal growth hub, Selfscription.com. We will have products ranging from notebooks to self-help books, children's books, greeting cards, and even crystals, for those who are exploring and opening themselves up to their own personal power. 

“Free your mind and take your life to the next level.” - Selfscription®

This is our official launch and you are the first to hear about it! Our journey begins with Selfscription® Mindset Notebooks. After 10 years of seeing clients struggling to manage the endless stream of unproductive thoughts and distractions, we designed these notebooks to give them, and you, the clarity and confidence to show up to each day and crush it.

Buy Yours Now!


This is just the first of many products to come. In the next several months you will also hear about the books we're writing and other products that we're working on. So stay tuned!

Lastly, keep an eye out for our little doses of inspiration called, Notes from Yourself, coming from team@selfscription.com.

Enjoy the journey!
John

The Show-Up Factor

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, leadership coach, mindset coach, you are enough

Remember that time you had an idea about something you sort of wanted,

then sort of went after it, only to really not get it?

The Show-Up Factor is when you connect your heart to your goal

and completely participate in an experience.

Where can you apply the Show-Up Factor this week?

Make it count!

Love,

Yourself

Also published on selfscription.com 

Waiting For Life to Start

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, life coaching, life coaching nyc, mindfulness, mindset

It feels like everything will be better when...

The problem is, if you can't be happy now, you won't be happy when.

Marianne Williamson says, “the top of one mountain is the bottom of the next.”

It's up to you to find joy and fulfillment in the climb...

 and to love your life just as it is.

Love,

Yourself

Also published on selfscription.com 

Rainbow in a Hailstorm

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, life coaching, leadership coach, mindset coach

When you're caught in a hailstorm,

don't get distracted by the hail.

You can choose to see things differently.

Slow down, take a breath, you can handle this.

Find your rainbow in the hailstorm.

Love,
Yourself

 

Also published on selfscription.com

Let It Be

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, leadership coach, mindset coach

Stop holding on so tight. Stop trying to force life to happen.

The only thing you can control is yourself.

There comes a point when it’s time to step back and allow

the chips to fall where they may. 

When you catch yourself micromanaging every little thing,

just remember, “Let it be.”

Love,
Yourself

Also published on selfscription.com

Life in Layers

John Kalinowski

life coach, nyc, executive leadership coach, enoughness, personal development

As we wrap up another year and set our sights on the next, I have been reflecting on what it is all for. The work I do with clients is often about getting unstuck, which involves opening up one layer at a time. I feel the same way about the work I do with myself. Sometimes I think of it like peeling back an onion. With each layer of the onion that I peel back, there is an opportunity to grow. Sometimes I get cocky and think, “But I’ve already read those books and asked those questions?! I’m grown!” Yeah, right. Wouldn’t that be nice.

The learning journey doesn’t end just because we have reached a certain age or attained more or less tolerance for bullshit than we had ten years ago. The learning continues. It’s on-going. There will always be another layer to peel back and work on. There will always be another opportunity to grow. If we feel like we have plateaued or are stuck in one or more areas of our lives, then there is inevitably an internal mindset shift waiting to happen.

The key to life is openness. Like the onion, life is an endless journey of opening oneself. And the best way to do that is through connection, first with ourselves, then with others. Connection is one of the primary vehicles for growth. Whether it’s the people in our lives who are supportive, or the ones who annoy the hell out of us, every relationship is a learning lab, and the lessons learned are all geared toward making us more loving individuals.

As long as we keep coaching ourselves with questions like, “what can I learn from this experience?” “what is my opportunity to grow?” and “how is this happening FOR me instead of to me?” we will continue to find answers that propel us forward. Those answers may surprise us, they might inspire us, or they may be painful. But that’s the journey… there will always be another layer to peel back. There will always be more love, openness, and personal fulfillment to be had.

The internal journey is what it is all for. The external is just a reflection.

Wishing you a fulfilling 2019! #redpill

xJohn

The Magic of Abundance

John Kalinowski

life coach, nyc, executive leadership coach, personal development coach, abundance

When did “wanting” become a dirty word? When did we lose the capacity to see value in anticipation? And why does “wanting” usually feel synonymous with “lacking?”

There is nothing wrong with wanting in the absence of having. Trust, I’m speaking to myself here too. The things we want do not have to become a source of pain simply because we can’t have them in the time frame that we want them.

One area of wanting that I hear about all the time is in the romance department. People can feel very lonely and stressed about not having a partner or mate. Of course, people can feel similarly about all sorts of things they feel they need to have in order to be happy and whole. This type of wanting is built on lack.

  • Wanting from lack means that you, on some level, believe that you are insufficient without that thing. It means that you feel yourself to be “not enough” if you don’t have that relationship, that house, that car, that job, that external validation of your worth.

  • Wanting from abundance means that you know, with or without that relationship, house, car, or job, you are still going to be ok - great actually. It means that you believe you are enough, and that “enoughness” is not measured by external validation trophies.

True happiness is a mindset and practice of reminding yourself that you are enough. Though there are plenty of external “things” that can make you feel amazing, that state of bliss is fragile because you have so little control over the temporary nature of the external world.

As you practice being enough, you are able to channel pure, loving, abundant energy into achieving what you want. Brick by brick you can build your vision from a grounded place of strength, happiness, and trust. The energy we invest is the energy we tend to see returned.

Lack begets lack and abundance begets abundance.

Have a beautiful month! #redpill

John

Also published on Selfscription.com & Thrive Global

Do You Energize People or Deplete Them?

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, leadership coach, executive coach, personal development coach

Ahoy there! Happy September! As we round the corner into the last stretch of 2018, here is a simple tip for being your most energized and energizing self.

Interacting with others is an energy exchange and we have a huge amount of control over what type of energy we are bringing to the table.

Negative or unproductive energy can be depleting to yourself and others and is created by:

  • Thinking and talking about problems and drama

Positive or productive energy can be energizing to yourself and others and is created by:

  • Thinking and talking about opportunities and solutions

Of course, we have to think about and share our problems sometimes, but many of us go overboard, at which point it is unproductive and depleting to ourselves and others.

If you make a practice of steering your thoughts and conversation out of the problem and into the solution, you will find that you feel more energized about yourself and your life. As a result, you will bring more positive energy to your interactions, which will leave others feeling more energized as well.

Look at you! All positive n’ stuff.

Have a beautiful month! #redpill

John

Also published on Selfscription.com & Thrive Global

Whatever You Have - Just Own It

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, executive leadership coach, personal development coach, new york

Hello! Happy August! This month I have a silly story to share. I may have shared it with some of you - it’s an oldie but a goodie! Several years ago I had a personal breakthrough. I was having a conversation with someone about the sitcom, “Friends,” and which characters we most resemble. My answer was obvious and immediate; I am Monica. Can you imagine how not excited I might have been to realize that? But the funny thing is, it was exciting, because the realization gave me permission to say, “I’m totally Monica…” an ambitious, demanding, particular, know-it-all. Though I would love to think I am (clearly) funnier and more dynamic than Monica, it’s fairly safe to say that she and I are cut from a similar cloth.

This is who I am - take it or leave it.

The thing is, this isn’t really news; I have always known about my quirks. What changed was my choice to own them. By owning who I am, a huge chunk of self-judgement that I had been holding onto for years simply evaporated. Along with that came the awareness of how beautiful those quirks really are. Yes, I’m demanding, and even though it can be annoying it has also helped me to not settle for less. Yes, I’m particular, and even though it can be annoying it has also helped me to be very detail-oriented. Yes, I’m a know-it-all, and even though it can be annoying it has also propelled me to create a successful and fulfilling career.

Every strength is a weakness; every weakness is a strength.

None of this means that you cannot work on, temper, or change certain qualities about yourself or your life. But it does mean that you will be more successful in changing those things if you start with a mindset of acknowledging and accepting them first. Simply look for the beauty. Each time you catch yourself judging yourself or your life, coach yourself to look for the beauty and see what you find. How do these “annoying” characteristics help you? How might they be endearing, attractive, and even sexy?

As you make a practice of looking for the beauty, you will find that you are kinder to yourself. As a result, you may find the outside world to be a little kinder as well.

Have a beautiful month! #redpill

John


Also published on Selfscription.com, ANewsCafe.com & ThriveGlobal


(For more on Self-Acceptance check out July’s post...)

What's Holding You Back?

John Kalinowski

What do you want to finish by the end of the year? If you hadn’t noticed, it’s September, and that means it’s crunch-time. You know all those goals you set, and vision boards you glued to together to inaugurate 2015? Well, it’s time to pay the piper. The great thing is that if you’re committed, there’s still a lot of time to make some serious progress. You could still get that article published, you could still lose 10 lbs, you could still write a business plan, or you could even still meet a new love interest. But, if you’re struggling to motivate then it may require you to ask yourself what’s holding you back.

For almost everyone the answer lies in their mindset. Most people are completely unaware of what they’re thinking on a regular basis, and most of what they’re thinking is straight-up unproductive-broken-record-negative-bulls***. One telltale sign that your thoughts have taken over is that you often feel angry, stressed out, or sad, and you don’t have energy for much more than managing your fundamental responsibilities. Another indicator is that you spend most of your free time watching television or scouring the internet. Of course it’s important to relax sometimes, but in excess it’s likely you’re escaping from your thoughts, and your life.

4 Steps to Coach Yourself & Get Unstuck:

  • Step 1:  Notice what you’re thinking and how often you’re replaying the same broken record and consider keeping a journal to jot down recurring thoughts.

  • Step 2:  Don’t judge yourself or the thoughts, Don’t try to stop them, Just notice them.

  • Step 3:  Use corresponding affirmations for recurring thoughts to help steer yourself out of broken-record-ville. (ex. “I’ll find the perfect job, person, home for me.”)

  • Step 4:  Be diligent about this practice (which can be maddening to start) and you WILL have more energy to accomplish your goals.

Granted, this is not a cure-all, and there may be some deep-seated stuff that you still need to address, but just challenge yourself to try it out for 30 days and see what happens. Fast Company Magazine lists this practice as the first of 4 Habits of the Most Resilient People, and if you’re diligent then 2015 will become the year that you learned how to coach yourself, shift your mindset, and be the resilient bad-ass you’ve always wanted to be.

Have a beautiful week!

John

Also published on ANewsCafe.com 

Let It Be

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, mindset coach, leadership coach, personal development

Do you ever catch yourself trying to make something happen, or agonizing because something isn’t going exactly your way? I do it all the time. This may sound silly, but I’ve made a habit of remembering the Beatles song, “Let it be.”(“Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be… Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.”) It just reminds me to stop holding on so tight, that the only thing I can control is myself, and that there comes a point when I’ve done everything I can do and it’s time to step back to allow the chips to fall where they may. Otherwise I’m just running around like a crazy person trying to force the chips to fall exactly the way I want them to. Not only is that the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, it’s also the way many of us live our daily lives.

I was going over my business finances recently and found myself having all sorts of feelings about it. The words I kept hearing in my head were, “I should be further along than this.” “I should be making this much money and have a book published” and “I should have a bigger office and a fancier this and a better that, and it should all have happened yesterday.” This all comes from that nearly universal human affliction of feeling like we’re not enough, haven’t done enough, don’t have enough (money, beauty, love, wisdom) and there’s clearly something wrong with us.

Nope, there’s nothing wrong. The only thing wrong is our mindset. We are wasting time and energy on beating the hell out of ourselves, which is costing us even more time and energy, which we could be using to make ourselves happy and/or move ourselves forward. If you want something, prioritize it, create a timeline, find some way to hold yourself accountable, show up for it, and go. But, those draining, self-limiting thoughts rob us from appreciating what we’ve already accomplished, and leave us with less energy to move toward the things that we still want to accomplish. Every time you start beating yourself up and catch yourself trying to force those chips into the right place, just coach yourself with the affirmation, “Let it be.” Chorus please.

Have a beautiful week!

John

Also published on ANewsCafe.com and Selfscription.com

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