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Life Coach, NYC, Executive Leadership Coach, Personal Development Coach, New York - Coaching Leaders, Entrepreneurs, and Creatives to be more Confident, Productive, and Fulfilled.

Notes from Yourself

 

 

Filtering by Tag: personal development

The Magic of Abundance

John Kalinowski

life coach nyc, life coaching new york

...

The people who discover new lands, solve the world's problems, and have the next big idea, are onto something...

Lack brings lack and abundance brings abundance.

Worrying, fretting, and white-knuckling it = Lack.

Loving, trusting, and believing it's on its way = Abundance.

Make your own magic.

Abracadabra.

Love,

Yourself

Also published on selfscription.com

Happy "You Are Enough" Day

John Kalinowski

life coach nyc, life coaching new york

Today you are enough.
Regardless of things done or not done, said or not said.
You've climbed mountains, and waged battles.
You've loved a few and lost a few.
And still you are enough.
So light up that sparkler and celebrate!
Do you hear the fireworks?
Those are for you.

Love,
Yourself

Originally published on selfscription.com

Live with Gusto!

John Kalinowski

life coach nyc, life coaching new york

When the lights go down and it's last call...

What were the magic moments?

You climbed Mt. Everest?

You fell in love with a stranger?

You flew to the moon?

You are the JK Rowling of your life.

Make some magic happen.

Love,

Yourself

 

Originally published on Selfscription.com 

Big Announcement!

John Kalinowski

Well Hello!

I hope your year is going great so far. Mine has been awesome! I've been in the think tank with my business partner, Jami Bertini, for the past several months visualizing and designing the foundation for a new personal growth hub, Selfscription.com. We will have products ranging from notebooks to self-help books, children's books, greeting cards, and even crystals, for those who are exploring and opening themselves up to their own personal power. 

“Free your mind and take your life to the next level.” - Selfscription®

This is our official launch and you are the first to hear about it! Our journey begins with Selfscription® Mindset Notebooks. After 10 years of seeing clients struggling to manage the endless stream of unproductive thoughts and distractions, we designed these notebooks to give them, and you, the clarity and confidence to show up to each day and crush it.

Buy Yours Now!


This is just the first of many products to come. In the next several months you will also hear about the books we're writing and other products that we're working on. So stay tuned!

Lastly, keep an eye out for our little doses of inspiration called, Notes from Yourself, coming from team@selfscription.com.

Enjoy the journey!
John

The Show-Up Factor

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, leadership coach, mindset coach, you are enough

Remember that time you had an idea about something you sort of wanted,

then sort of went after it, only to really not get it?

The Show-Up Factor is when you connect your heart to your goal

and completely participate in an experience.

Where can you apply the Show-Up Factor this week?

Make it count!

Love,

Yourself

Also published on selfscription.com 

Rainbow in a Hailstorm

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, life coaching, leadership coach, mindset coach

When you're caught in a hailstorm,

don't get distracted by the hail.

You can choose to see things differently.

Slow down, take a breath, you can handle this.

Find your rainbow in the hailstorm.

Love,
Yourself

 

Also published on selfscription.com

Let It Be

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, leadership coach, mindset coach

Stop holding on so tight. Stop trying to force life to happen.

The only thing you can control is yourself.

There comes a point when it’s time to step back and allow

the chips to fall where they may. 

When you catch yourself micromanaging every little thing,

just remember, “Let it be.”

Love,
Yourself

Also published on selfscription.com

Life in Layers

John Kalinowski

life coach, nyc, executive leadership coach, enoughness, personal development

As we wrap up another year and set our sights on the next, I have been reflecting on what it is all for. The work I do with clients is often about getting unstuck, which involves opening up one layer at a time. I feel the same way about the work I do with myself. Sometimes I think of it like peeling back an onion. With each layer of the onion that I peel back, there is an opportunity to grow. Sometimes I get cocky and think, “But I’ve already read those books and asked those questions?! I’m grown!” Yeah, right. Wouldn’t that be nice.

The learning journey doesn’t end just because we have reached a certain age or attained more or less tolerance for bullshit than we had ten years ago. The learning continues. It’s on-going. There will always be another layer to peel back and work on. There will always be another opportunity to grow. If we feel like we have plateaued or are stuck in one or more areas of our lives, then there is inevitably an internal mindset shift waiting to happen.

The key to life is openness. Like the onion, life is an endless journey of opening oneself. And the best way to do that is through connection, first with ourselves, then with others. Connection is one of the primary vehicles for growth. Whether it’s the people in our lives who are supportive, or the ones who annoy the hell out of us, every relationship is a learning lab, and the lessons learned are all geared toward making us more loving individuals.

As long as we keep coaching ourselves with questions like, “what can I learn from this experience?” “what is my opportunity to grow?” and “how is this happening FOR me instead of to me?” we will continue to find answers that propel us forward. Those answers may surprise us, they might inspire us, or they may be painful. But that’s the journey… there will always be another layer to peel back. There will always be more love, openness, and personal fulfillment to be had.

The internal journey is what it is all for. The external is just a reflection.

Wishing you a fulfilling 2019! #redpill

xJohn

The Magic of Abundance

John Kalinowski

life coach, nyc, executive leadership coach, personal development coach, abundance

When did “wanting” become a dirty word? When did we lose the capacity to see value in anticipation? And why does “wanting” usually feel synonymous with “lacking?”

There is nothing wrong with wanting in the absence of having. Trust, I’m speaking to myself here too. The things we want do not have to become a source of pain simply because we can’t have them in the time frame that we want them.

One area of wanting that I hear about all the time is in the romance department. People can feel very lonely and stressed about not having a partner or mate. Of course, people can feel similarly about all sorts of things they feel they need to have in order to be happy and whole. This type of wanting is built on lack.

  • Wanting from lack means that you, on some level, believe that you are insufficient without that thing. It means that you feel yourself to be “not enough” if you don’t have that relationship, that house, that car, that job, that external validation of your worth.

  • Wanting from abundance means that you know, with or without that relationship, house, car, or job, you are still going to be ok - great actually. It means that you believe you are enough, and that “enoughness” is not measured by external validation trophies.

True happiness is a mindset and practice of reminding yourself that you are enough. Though there are plenty of external “things” that can make you feel amazing, that state of bliss is fragile because you have so little control over the temporary nature of the external world.

As you practice being enough, you are able to channel pure, loving, abundant energy into achieving what you want. Brick by brick you can build your vision from a grounded place of strength, happiness, and trust. The energy we invest is the energy we tend to see returned.

Lack begets lack and abundance begets abundance.

Have a beautiful month! #redpill

John

Also published on Selfscription.com & Thrive Global

Do You Energize People or Deplete Them?

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, leadership coach, executive coach, personal development coach

Ahoy there! Happy September! As we round the corner into the last stretch of 2018, here is a simple tip for being your most energized and energizing self.

Interacting with others is an energy exchange and we have a huge amount of control over what type of energy we are bringing to the table.

Negative or unproductive energy can be depleting to yourself and others and is created by:

  • Thinking and talking about problems and drama

Positive or productive energy can be energizing to yourself and others and is created by:

  • Thinking and talking about opportunities and solutions

Of course, we have to think about and share our problems sometimes, but many of us go overboard, at which point it is unproductive and depleting to ourselves and others.

If you make a practice of steering your thoughts and conversation out of the problem and into the solution, you will find that you feel more energized about yourself and your life. As a result, you will bring more positive energy to your interactions, which will leave others feeling more energized as well.

Look at you! All positive n’ stuff.

Have a beautiful month! #redpill

John

Also published on Selfscription.com & Thrive Global

Whatever You Have - Just Own It

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, executive leadership coach, personal development coach, new york

Hello! Happy August! This month I have a silly story to share. I may have shared it with some of you - it’s an oldie but a goodie! Several years ago I had a personal breakthrough. I was having a conversation with someone about the sitcom, “Friends,” and which characters we most resemble. My answer was obvious and immediate; I am Monica. Can you imagine how not excited I might have been to realize that? But the funny thing is, it was exciting, because the realization gave me permission to say, “I’m totally Monica…” an ambitious, demanding, particular, know-it-all. Though I would love to think I am (clearly) funnier and more dynamic than Monica, it’s fairly safe to say that she and I are cut from a similar cloth.

This is who I am - take it or leave it.

The thing is, this isn’t really news; I have always known about my quirks. What changed was my choice to own them. By owning who I am, a huge chunk of self-judgement that I had been holding onto for years simply evaporated. Along with that came the awareness of how beautiful those quirks really are. Yes, I’m demanding, and even though it can be annoying it has also helped me to not settle for less. Yes, I’m particular, and even though it can be annoying it has also helped me to be very detail-oriented. Yes, I’m a know-it-all, and even though it can be annoying it has also propelled me to create a successful and fulfilling career.

Every strength is a weakness; every weakness is a strength.

None of this means that you cannot work on, temper, or change certain qualities about yourself or your life. But it does mean that you will be more successful in changing those things if you start with a mindset of acknowledging and accepting them first. Simply look for the beauty. Each time you catch yourself judging yourself or your life, coach yourself to look for the beauty and see what you find. How do these “annoying” characteristics help you? How might they be endearing, attractive, and even sexy?

As you make a practice of looking for the beauty, you will find that you are kinder to yourself. As a result, you may find the outside world to be a little kinder as well.

Have a beautiful month! #redpill

John


Also published on Selfscription.com, ANewsCafe.com & ThriveGlobal


(For more on Self-Acceptance check out July’s post...)

Be More Productive By Accepting Your Limitations

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, executive coach, leadership coach, personal development coach

Well hello! How is your year shaping up so far? I am trying my best over here, and generally feeling pretty good about things. I have a lot of projects underway and one of the projects I have been working on is my blog. Every time I start writing again I feel inspired and excited. Then, at some point, I get busy, distracted, feel like I have nothing more to say, lose momentum, and inevitably stop. Though I ultimately accept my choice, there are always some feelings of “I’m not enough or I’m not doing enough” that tug at me in the weeks and months afterward.

The thing is, I like writing! I like letting you know what I am thinking about and working on, while also hopefully adding some value to your life. Every year around this time I tend to get inspired to write. I map out a writing schedule, create the framework for a dozen pieces over the course of a few weeks, then schedule them for release over the next few months. I typically edit or totally rewrite several articles prior to release, but it’s the initial push that sets everything up.

What happens after I have sent out all of those blog posts? Well, the intention is to use the momentum to continue writing and posting, but unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be what happens. About the time that I need to start writing to keep up with the schedule I have established, I find that I have already embarked on what will be a longer-than-ideal break until I feel the writing itch again, and it all repeats.

This year, I am trying something different. I have already planned and written the framework for a bunch of articles, and, instead of publishing one each week or every other week, I will now be publishing one per month. What a novel idea!?! Instead of imposing a schedule on myself that has shown not to work (for me), I am instead committing to a consistency that feels more manageable. The plan being that by the time these run out I will have already hit my next creative writing phase and churned out a whole new batch of outlines.

We shall see how it turns out! Some people can pick something up and stick to it from day one. But far more people, like myself, pick it up, put it down, let it sit, dust it off, pick it up, put it down, and so on until it finally sticks. If you are also one of “those” people, then it’s important that you and I stay open to playing with different versions of the habit, as well as different ways to incorporate it into our lives. Once we find something we can consistently adhere to, even if initially less impressive than we might like, we can build on it.

This approach also allows us to release some of those nagging feelings of “not-enoughness,” which are perhaps the heaviest weights we carry with us on our paths forward.

Have a beautiful month! #redpill

John

 

Also published on Thrive Global, ANewsCafe.com, and Selfscription.com!

What Are you Spending Your Energy On?

John Kalinowski

life coach nyc personal development work smarter

Not just "what" are you spending energy on, but also "who" are you spending your energy on? And what's the return you're getting on that investment (ROI)?  

Though everything good in our lives requires a certain energetic investment, it's super easy to get into a habit of spending energy without really thinking about whether it's generating any kind of return. Most of us have habits and relationships that have been sucking up our energy for years, inhibiting our ability to move other things forward. Unfortunately, there isn't any energy spent that doesn't have to be replenished.

Just like gas in your car, once the tank is empty, you're going to have to refill it. So take stock. Unless you've already mindfully combed through your life and optimized every inch of it, then there are probably still some areas that you could clean up to generate more energy. Here are the first 5 places to look:

  • Clean Up Your Thoughts: Most of us are wasting a massive amount of time and energy on indulging in unproductive thinking.

  • Plan Ahead: Planning tasks, meals, gym-visits, etc. for your days, weeks, and months helps to solidify your intention, productivity, and success.

  • Action Steps: It's much more motivating and manageable to break down projects into steps, then schedule time for each one.

  • Schedule It: Booking time on your calendar to take care of a particular Action Step makes you much more likely to achieve it.

  • Minimize Distractions: Your brain doesn't multitask - you'll radically improve productivity if you turn off your emails, flip your phone over and focus on the task you've scheduled. (Hint: you can also schedule time to respond to texts and emails.)

Lastly, don't forget to schedule in some guilt-free downtime. Firing on all cylinders also requires scheduling time for rest, exercise, friends, family, and even stepping outside for a 10-minute walk every couple hours of your workday. We also need to let our hair down sometimes. 

The whole "burning-the-candle-at-both-ends" thing is so 2005. 

#redpill

John

How to Get Your Mind Out of the Gutter

John Kalinowski

life coach personal development mindset

Your thoughts dictate your reality.

I see it in myself, my friends, and my coaching clients. We are all influenced by what we think every day, in the same way that we're influenced by what we eat every day.

If my junk-food intake outweighs my intake of nutritious food then there will be consequences. And by the same token if I'm thinking a lot of unproductive, negative thoughts instead of affirming, encouraging ones, there will be natural consequences for that as well. 

Productive thoughts are those that open up opportunities for solutions and growth. Unproductive thoughts are those that shut down opportunities for solutions and growth. "I don't know what to do," is unproductive. "I can figure this out," is productive. "I'm a big fat pig," is unproductive. "I have the power to change," is productive.

3 Tools for a Productive Mindset:

  • The Gold Star - Acknowledge yourself for the things you do, even if it feels like you could do them longer, better, or more often.

  • Course-Correct - Have a handful of productive thoughts that you can pull out when you catch yourself engaging in unproductive-thinking.

  • Habits v. Goals - Take some of the emphasis off of the end-goals and focus more on the habits and routines required to get you there.

Your thoughts dictate your reality. More productive thoughts = a more productive reality. 

#redpill

John

Breathe - It Makes You Smarter

John Kalinowski

Breathe... Just breathe. Hopefully you're already breathing somewhat, but you could probably benefit from doing it more. It's one of the most effective tools in your toolbox and you can use it anytime. It's free and easy and has all sorts of amazing benefits. Even though I know this, I still catch myself not breathing enough, especially when I'm rushed, stressed or upset. That's because the body naturally breathes less deeply as a fight-or-flight response to stressful situations. But too much of this fight-or-flight state is not good for your health or well-being. So we need to catch ourselves. Take a breath damnit! It's so easy. And so beneficial. And it can make you more intelligent! Emotionally Intelligent that is. 

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is something that you hear about more and more these days. One of the fundamentals of emotional intelligence is not being so reactive to the stimuli around you. (I know of a certain political figure who could use a healthy dose of EQ. I mean...) The most obvious way to be less reactive, and more emotionally intelligent, is to give yourself a pause by taking a deep breath. It can take the edge off of a stressful feeling and give you the moment you need to not do something stupid. In the age of emails most of us have sent one that we wish we could take back. Taking regular deep breaths can not only calm you down, it also helps you to recognize when you're emotional and need to take a step back.

By creating a habit of it, breathing also becomes an exercise in focus and attention, and gives you one more opportunity to question a potentially bad choice. Isn't that what life is all about? Trying to make good choices? Breathing is one easy little tool to help you make better choices. AND it makes you smarter! Boom.

#redpill

John

Also published on ANewsCafe.com 

Rock The Damn Boat

John Kalinowski

life coach, life coach nyc, mindset coach, leadership coach, personal development

If you're walking on eggshells with people in your life, or allowing something to fester.

Rock the damn boat.

Spouses, parents, friends, and bosses... "Because it's not worth it to make him/her mad." 

Rock the damn boat.

I just did some boat-rocking with a good friend recently and yeah, it was awkward, but it was also really good. 

We chatted like grown-ups. No finger-pointing, no defensiveness. 

Also, bottling up your feelings is just not cute anymore.

So, rock the damn boat.

With a little practice you'll be running around tipping boats over left and right, and guess what.

You'll be glad you did. 

#redpill

xJohn

Also published on ANewsCafe.com 

The Domino Effect

John Kalinowski

"Different" is a fertilizer for growth.

"Different" makes way for "different."

"Same" makes way for "same." 

It's a Domino Effect. 

"Different" can be uncomfortable.

Find comfort in discomfort.  

Your life will open up.

life coach, life coach nyc, mindset coach, leadership coach, personal development

#redpill

xJohn

Also published on ANewsCafe.com 

A Question that Can Change Your Life

John Kalinowski

life coach nyc personal development opportunity

What's the Opportunity?

I ask myself this question all the time. In moments of doubt it keeps me from going to a dark place, that fear place, the one where I'm thinking/feeling, "Oh my God, this sucks! What am I gonna do?? What if it doesn't work? What if I can't figure it out? What if it all falls apart??" 

And more often than not I also stumble onto an answer to the question, because, the funny thing is, there is almost always an answer to "What's the Opportunity?" 

It's usually easier to ask ourselves that question when everything's stable. But when things suddenly shift or don't go our way many of us make a mental/emotional beeline to resistance, stress, anger, anxiety, and depression. "Oh no, I didn't get the job I wanted." "Oh no, I didn't get the loan I wanted, or the man or woman I wanted - life is so unfair." 

That's just victim-thinking and for many of us it can spiral into a whole mess of "I'm not worthy" and "why don't good things happen to me." Well, they're probably not going to happen to you if you always revert to playing the victim every time life doesn't go your way.

What's the Opportunity? 

We squander opportunities all the time because we're so consumed by fear and victim-thinking. Of course there are really traumatic things that happen like death, divorce, and health issues. But even then, there are so many instances where the events were hard for everyone at first, then they paved the way for some really significant personal development and healing. But only when the people involved were open to the opportunities.

So, when the shit hits the fan and things don't turn out the way you want, acknowledge your disappointment, cry about it, grieve if necessary, but even in the worst of circumstances there is an opportunity for something good to come of it. You just have to be open to shift your mindset. Only then will you see that maybe dropping your phone was an opportunity to unplug, or getting fired from your job was the nudge you needed to make a career change and get your ass back to the gym.

You can be your own life coach by asking yourself this one question, "What's the opportunity?"

(But beware, you might turn into one of those "glass half-full" people.)

Have a beautiful week!

John

Also published on ANewsCafe.com 

5 Minutes To Accomplish Anything

John Kalinowski

The title of this piece is pretty much the whole enchilada. 

You can do anything with 5 minutes. Meditation, planning your day, working out, learning a language, or writing a book... If you just commit 5 minutes a day (or 5 minutes a week!) to a task, you will move it forward. You could feel calmer, healthier, more focused, more accomplished, all from 5 minutes a day. Who the hell doesn't have 5 minutes? 

I've seen myself (still see myself) procrastinate on a number of things I've wanted to accomplish because I didn't feel like I had an hour or more per day to work on it. So I did nothing. Funny how nothing creates more nothing. And everyone knows how amazing you feel when you procrastinate and don't do the things you want or need to do. It feels shitty, and it brings you down.

But through my coaching practice and understanding more about having a mindset of enoughness, I've come to realize that all we need is 5 minutes. Start there. And watch it accrue! There's a reason why billionaire Warren Buffett is obsessed with The Power of Compound Interest - because everything adds up. 5 minutes per day is 35 minutes per week, 2.25 hours per month and over 30 hours per year. Boom.

That's 30 hours spent on something that you would have spent zero hours on before. But there is one additional requirement - if you just show up to a task for 5 minutes then it is REQUIRED that you give yourself a gold star, i.e. a pat on the back, a "nice job!". That's the only way this works. Beating yourself up about how you should have done more will derail everything. 

So, what's one thing you want to accomplish? Write it down and commit to 5 minutes per day. If you go longer great, but start with 5 minutes and then sit back and watch it compound.

Have a beautiful week!

John

Also published on ANewsCafe.com