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800 6th Avenue
New York, NY, 10001
United States

Life Coach, NYC, Executive Leadership Coach, Personal Development Coach, New York - Coaching Leaders, Entrepreneurs, and Creatives to be more Confident, Productive, and Fulfilled.

Notes from Yourself



Filtering by Category: Be a Student

Can People Really Change?

John Kalinowski

life coach personal development coach

Yes. And No. 

First of all, "change" takes MUCH longer than we think.

And people who "change" don't become totally different human beings. 

They start by acknowledging the behaviors and habits that aren't serving them... 

And they make necessary adjustments to better manage those behaviors.

But changing habits and behaviors isn't a one-shot deal.

It's a PRACTICE, a MINDSET, and it takes time.

The more you practice something, the more likely it'll become a new habit.

Do it once, and give yourself a gold star. Do it again and you get another gold star.

Even if it's weeks or months apart, that's ok - did I mention it takes time? 

Soon you have two, then three, then four, then five stars...

And voila! You have a new habit.

Keep going. :-)



Jumping The Gun

John Kalinowski

life coach personal development coach

Too many times in my life I’ve pigeon-holed myself into doing something a particular way because I couldn’t see beyond my own stress, fear, or impatience to take a more measured approach. Note to Self: I do not make the best decisions under stress. I might be able to get the job done and I might even make reasonably “good” decisions, but they are not going to be my best decisions. My best decisions come when I am grounded, centered, grateful, open, and I am giving myself permission to be exactly where I am, even if it’s not necessarily where I want to be.

A few years ago, when I took the leap into coaching full-time, I was convinced that the natural next step was to find an office. The problem was that when I left my part-time job I hadn’t yet built up my clientele to be able to pay my current bills, let alone take on another big expense. But, in my mind, I was convinced that if I was going to attract the right type of clients then I needed to have certain things in place, and that meant an office. So, that’s what I did, and I ended up taking on a bunch of unnecessary stress and debt.

I did eventually attract those clients and become financially stable, but in hindsight, it was probably a little too early in my career to have an office, assuming I ever even needed one at all. But sometimes we become overwhelmed by how we think things should look, or by our impatience with how slowly things are moving, instead of allowing ourselves to be where we are, especially if that means being a beginner. Sometimes we just need to wait until we have a clearer plan, a little more money, experience, or even confidence before we ascend to that next level.

Reaching the top of the mountain can be really exciting, but so can the climb itself. These days I have plenty of goals, and as I work toward them I try to give myself permission to enjoy each stage of the process.

Have a beautiful week!